You promised we'd never change.

Its been a hectic year. As it is for everyone, of course. Nothing good ever comes easy. I will never forget what happened, and though it is sad to say, I know you will not forget either. I know we said we would move on and leave the past behind and only look forward to the future. But there are some things that I just cant seem to let go. I still cant get move past the things you said. The remarks and the comparisons you made. I know it was out of anger, but I know within the words there was a sense of  truth. It sticks to me, because it is the truth, and I can only blame myself for making everything you said a part of me. Since then I've only been putting forth my best efforts to make up for what happened. My present actions cannot erase what I did but I'm just hoping it is enough to overcome it.

It's a new year now, for the two of us individually, and together. It's time for us to grow up. It's time for us to be more mature, more understanding, more patient, to name a few. I'm ready to take the step if you are. We're already off to a good start. Let's keep it up. I'm not giving up on this. I'm not giving up on you.

You promised we'd never change.
You lied.
Cause I know, we'll be much better now.

Home.

Finally back from our trip to the Philippines. I`ll continue with this tomorrow, but long story short: thankful, memories, withdrawal, bed, home.

cross faded.

Home is whenever I'm with you.

I can't sleep.

Early Christmas party was held at our house today. It was an amazing feeling being surrounded by family, laughter, smiles, and love. I'm really appreciative for every that took time from the busy lives (especially during this time of the year) to come and spend time with my family before we leave for the Philippines. Oh yeah, forgot to mention, my family and I are leaving for the Philippines tomorrow afternoon. I cannot even describe how I'm feeling about this trip. I'm going to miss everyone here, and my house ofcourse, but I'm finally, FINALLY, going back home. I haven't been back home ever since I was a baby. It's going to be so overwhelming to see all of my cousins, and relatives in the Philippines. I'm beyond excited. I'm so thankful that my mom decided to plan this trip. She says it every year, but she really meant it this year. I'm really thankful for this opportunity. I'm glad that our family will be together to end this year off, and begin the new year. I have a good feeling about the new year. I'm blessed with such wonderful people in my life. I'm really going to make this year count. I'd go off on the topic of the new year, but I'll save that for another post. For now, I guess I'm going to try and get some sleep.

Goodnight.

4:23 am

My first post back on blogger, and I decide to call it "4:23 am", which happens to be the current time as I'm typing away. Forgive me. I don't know what pushed me to go back to blogging? Maybe it was going back to my old one and reading old posts. Maybe it was the comfort I felt typing out my thoughts and emotions into a computer and knowing only I would be the only one that could understand them. Ultimately, I think I just enjoy the act of "blogging". Going back and reading old posts make me laugh. It also helps me keep track of myself. Cause sometimes I lose track of reality.